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What Does Beard Oil Actually Do?

So what does beard oil actually do? Strap yourselves in, chaps – we’re about to go on a whisker-ific journey into the world of facial foliage. Beard oil is actually a relatively basic product, which is both a good and a bad thing. On the one hand, it can be made in your kitchen with minimal effort and expense. On the other, there’s little in the way of real magic going on.

Put simply, it’s a moisturizer. As your beard grows longer, it can dry out and start to split. It’s a good idea to keep it in tip-top condition with a little oil, which will moisturize and nourish the hairs and help them stay flexible and less likely to snap.

Beard oil – the magical mist they talk about when you’re in the barbershop or hanging out in your man cave with your bros.

What is beard oil? Is it just hip-shot bullshit that entrepreneurs are trying to hype on Kick-starter to fleece the modern-day lumberjack? Does beard oil make your beard better? Or does it just seem to make your beard better? Let us travel – together – along the shaggy strands of beard oil mysticism.


Hydration Station for Your Face Carpet

Sorry to break it to you bro, but here’s the deal: your mug is the Mojave, and your beard, well, that’s just the sad, sorry cactus that hasn’t had a drop to drink in days. Without it, the skin scrunching itself against the bristle is the Sahara at high noon, dry and flaky and begging for a drink. Beard oil is that drink. An amalgam of oils such as jojoba and argan, this is the lotion for your lotion, meaning the stuff beneath your mane, which turns your whiskers into a cloud forest, literally making your beard softer than a pillowcase stuffed full of marshmallows.


Say Goodbye to Flaky Friends

Beardruff: the glitter of the sylvatic disco. Nothing ruins a sharply coiffured look faster than a blizzard spewing from your chin. But never fear! For beard oil will banish those demon flakes back to the North Pole whence they came. By softening up the skin underneath, beard oil banishes beardruff for good, whisker by whisker.

Unleash the Beast Tamer

We know the feeling – your beard has gotten out of hand. It’s less a pristine art project and more of a tumbleweed. It’s long, scraggly, and you can’t even get your fingers through it. Enter beard oil, a wizard-like potion that will put your unruly Balrog to work.


Aromatic Adventures

Because there is no reason for your beard to just look good – it can smell good too. From rugged cedarwood to zesty citrus, beard oil makes it possible to rub your glorious whiskers on your chin and have people say: ‘Whatever you’re wearing, I want some’.



All in all, dear reader, this question – what does beard oil actually do? It's not just a query but also an existential odyssey, a personal amplification quest, and so, regardless of whether you are a bearded veteran or a kitten-faced newcomer and whether you see your beard hair as lustrous tendrils or tangled burrs, remember this: there is a bottle of beard oil out there with your beard name on it, your personal beard nourishment, and when you are ready for it, when you have amassed enough beard growth to justify the investment in the oil’s touch, you will be ready to uncap that elixir of bearding and soak your hirsute landscape in its wondrous aromas and moisturizing pheromones, and your face will never be the same again.

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